Irrational fear is normal, right?
Right? Ugh. Sometimes, I wish I could just switch my brain off. But no ..... the traiterous little collection of cells just keeps working overtime. Now I've started thinking what-if. What-if something's wrong with the baby? What-if something goes wrong with the baby? What-if ... what-if ... what-if ... and I know it's unhealthy and I just can't help myself.
Never mind the fact that at the midwife's last visit the baby's heartbeat was good and strong, or that physically I've been feeling pretty good. Oh, no. None of that MATTERS to my tiny brain.
Anyone got an off-switch? Anyone ... anyone ...
Work still continues to frustrate the unmentionables out of me, and I haven't heard a peep about the job yet. Allegedly, there was supposed to be a decision last week.
Ha! I say, ha!
But now I'm not even sure if I want the job! It's a deputy position, and I know whoever does get it will end up doing a lot of the stuff the head of that position is supposed to do, because the one we have now, barely does anything related to that position. And he doesn't listen. He persists in giving one person stuff to check, even though they're not really qualified to do it and he's been told to stop. And if he keeps doing it when a deputy is appointed? What the hell is the point?
I'm coming to the conclusion that whoever gets that job is going to need to be a bit of an a**hole, and I"m not sure I have that in me.
So, much like the trailer for the Simpsons movie, I'm banging my head between an rock and a hard place, because all I'm thinking about is either work or the baby.
At this rate, I'm going to disappear altogether.