In the wilderness

Gosh, but this baby stuff is tiring! And I have a very supportive husband and I'm surrounded by family, but it's still hard. But Patrick is doing well; putting on weight and eating like a little piglet. :) I gave up breastfeeding after about 10 days _ it was like banging my head against a wall full of nails. Just a constant and painful battle _ for all of us. I had to step back and ask myself what was best for all of us. That, and the night I had a screaming fit helped make the decision for me.
Luckily Patrick hasn't really noticed the difference and he's away on formula. Cue happy mother, happier father (who was worried about psychotic mother) and contented baby.
So we're all ticking over after a fashion. We're working a kind of half-assed routine around Patrick's feed time and taking turns with things like feeds, etc. J has to give him his baths because I still can't quite get down on the floor and get up easily; thanks to the ceasarean scar. But I'm recovering pretty well from that, I think. We've been out and about a couple of times; just minor outings to the library and the supermarket. I took Patrick into work yesterday to do the obligatory show-off-the-baby _ he slept through the whole thing!
He's a very contented baby; who would have thought that? He sleeps a lot and really only cries full on when his nappy is being changed. He hates that. So I'm grateful, because I know things could be very very very different.
Otherwise things are going okay. My family members keep popping up at random times and J's mother and sister are due for a week-long visit next Tuesday, so we'll just see how that goes.
I'm even managing to stitch a little and read a little here and there. It helps having a husband who does pretty much all the housework AND helps with the baby :).
That's really it for now.

Patrick pix

From left to right: Patrick going home, his first night, with Daddy yesterday before leaving the hospital.

We're home!

We got home yesterday and got everyone (well, the humans, anyway!) settled in. It was good to be home but strange to be out of the hospital at the same time. Anyway. This is what happened.On Tuesday morning, we went down to the hospital for an antenatal appointment, saw a hospital midwife and one of the registrars. Talked about being induced and I was asked if I wanted to go in that night, or wait until the next morning _ at the time, as far as we knew, everything was still ticking over the same way it had been all along _ just fine. So they talked to my midwife, Brenda, and we decided to admit me that night.So 7pm on Tuesday, Jeremy and I were back at the hospital; laden down with bags and goodness-knows-what because we didn't know what to expect. The plan _ then _ was to induce me slowly with prostoglandin gel, a process that was expected to take at least a day.Then they put me on the fetal heart monitor, and everything changed.At first, things ticked over the way they always had. Patrick's heartbeat was strong, things looked okay. Then, his heartbeat dropped. Then rose. Then dropped again. (I can't think about it without wanting to cry). I was ... scared, to say the least. Brenda checked it, then asked one of the hospital midwives to double check it but it just kept going up and down. They'd already called the obstetrician to let him know about the induction, and he was coming in.So, next was Dr Finkelstein. (Not his real name. In my post-op sleep-deprived state I forgot his name and kept calling him that.) In he comes, takes a look at the printout of the activity, looks at me and says "I'm not happy."Oh God. Patrick was in distress. Dr F said that he wouldn't be able to be born by induction, that it just wouldn't happen and the best thing was to get him out of there while he was still healthy and if they left it, we could have a sick baby on our hands (or worse). Things moved very rapidly from there. I was prepped for surgery and Jeremy was gowned up. They asked me lots of questions and whisked me off to theatre for the ceasearean.I've never had any kind of surgery and I was completely terrified. But all the staff _ my midwife, Dr F, the anethetists, the nurses, were just lovely. Jeremy waited outside with the orderly while they put the spinal in (horrible horrible but not painful) and the next thing I was numb and helpless. Horrible. They let Jeremy in but I had my head turned in the opposite direction because I was looking at my midwife and I was too scared to turn it around. I held on to Jeremy's hand for dear life, though. Then the Dr did his thing, and Patrick was born. I was fairly helpless, so Jeremy got to hold him first but I kept touching his head. He was born with black hair, a very loud cry _ and hungry!I got to hold and feed him in the recovery room before we all went back down to the ward. And now here we are!

100!

This, apparently, is my 100th post. I'm guessing I don't get a telegram from the Queen, but there should be some kind of reward, right?
Yes, I'm still in one piece. The midwife came on Tuesday, and baby's heartbeat is fine, my blood pressure is fine, so it really is just a waiting game now. I'm having my next appointment at the hospital on Monday so they can monitor activity and things a bit closer than B just using the doppler to listen to the heartbeat and we'll go from there. We're both getting VERY good at finding stuff to fill in the empty space at the moment. I keep telling myself I should enjoy it while I can but goshdarnit I'm ready to meet this baby!
On the other hand, I've been able to sell some stuff on Trade Me, and I've made some real progress on the Iris picture for my friend's wedding, so will hopefully have it finished and framed before The Big Day in August.
I actually want to give it to them before The Big Day. Otherwise it's going to get lost in amongst the flurry of the day and I want her to be able to enjoy it properly. And fulsomely praise me, obviously, for all my hard work.
I've also been reading a fair bit and I'm halfway through The Children of Hurin, which I got from work to review. I really must get on to it and finish it so I can do a timely review. I'm also re-reading The Talisman by Stephen King and Peter Straub; haven't read it for years! That's it. That's the sum total of my days at the moment. I really am going to do a post of just cat pictures!!!!!

Nope, nothing

Today is allegedly my due date but I got nothing. No niggles ... nothing. Apparently, we forgot to tell the baby. Oops! He's moving in there like a little movey mcmoverson, but seems quite happy where he is. Meanwhile his parents are getting a bit toey. All right. His MOTHER is getting a bit toey and his father keeps finding little jobs outside to do. Sigh.

There are bigger issues in the wider world, but you know, um ... ah, crap. I can't keep a single thought in my head for longer than a second at the moment. Maybe I should stop writing and just start posting pictures of the cats. That'd work, right?